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Birth parents
Giving my baby up in a black culture

To my adoption social worker

Meeting you has been the best experience in my life and I thank God for people like you because you remind people like us that there is hope out here in this world.

After *Sipho met his parent, I was still in denial that I had a baby. So I went back home thinking everything was back to normal but it wasn’t. My personality started to change as I was having sleepless nights, headaches and was always yelling at people. I realized him leaving affected me afterwards. It became more of a problem because I wasn’t saying anything to anyone. My family thought it was a phase.

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An open adoption

I was a 30 year old divorced mom with two beautiful daughters. Just after my divorce I met a man online and we clicked. This man swept me off my feet he was charming and kind and told me everything I wanted to hear. Six months later I walked out broken, and four and half months pregnant. He was a Con man and a fraudster he had stolen from me, lied to me and stolen from my place of work resulting in me losing my job, my home, and a car. I walked out with my two girls, my furniture and more debit than I knew what to do with. He had also stolen from my family.

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The best possible chance in life

Madeleine* was 18 when she discovered she was pregnant. She was earning a tiny salary and knew right away that she did not have the means to raise the child growing inside her. The baby’s father had made another woman pregnant and was living with her. He didn’t want to know about another dependant. Madeleine was grateful to have the support of her family, and her father backed her decision to give her baby up for adoption.

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The best choice for both of us

I, *Carol was born in Pretoria.  I had a happy childhood with church going parents, even though my dad was a weekend alcoholic and when he was under the influence he abused our family verbally and physically.  My mom on the other side has always been loving and caring, trying to make up for my dad’s bad behaviour.  I did very well in school academically I was always under the top ten and I got my Northern Transvaal colours in long distance running.  I have a brother who is three years older then me, since we were young we have been very close, but our co-dependant relationship turned out to be unhealthy when we got older. 

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A letter to my chosen adoptive mom

I don’t know where to start.  So I’ll start of by saying thank you so very much for the lovely file you made for me.  It means the world to me that you made every page so special. From a mother to a mother, I would just like to say I could never have asked for a better mom for my son. 

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A poem to my son

A poem to *Daniel

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Memories of a birth mother

The moment I laid eyes on the Adoptions4Ever website, I knew in my heart that I had found the place and people to help me in my situation. At the time, I was 30 weeks pregnant and stranded in Kwa-Zulu Natal aged 30 years old. I was in an emotionally unstable frame of mind and desperate for help. Taking a huge leap of faith, I sent an e-mail to Adoptions4Ever explaining my situation and received a reply within only a few hours. From there, progress was swift and within four days of sending that first e-mail, I was safe in Phalaborwa at the Adoptions4Ever mother home, Huis Talitha.

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